WTF?

No, seriously, I just don't understand. Am I just really unlucky or stupid? I mean, why is it that I only try to hang out with people that don't have the time for me? Or is it just that all my friends are really busy and I just shouldn't expect to hang out with anyone. Perhaps come summer it will change, but I'd really hoped to hang out with people before summer. Apparently I'm the only one that thinks that it'd be nice to relieve stress by finding time for friends. I assume, though, that they do find time to relax and hang out with people, just not me. I'd imagine some of this is the same kind of thing that I've been dealing with since I came to UNR. I mean, it's always been the case that people prefer hanging out with the people they have more history with. That's just what happens. As a non-local, I really don't have that history. I am thankful for Chris and Nicole, who usually find time to hang out with me, and of course Mike as we live together. It'd be nice to hang out with some of the other people in my life more often though. I think this is about to the point where I just accept that my hang out times will be rather infrequent and by lowering my expectations I'll lower my disappointment. Probably not the best approach, but considering how things have gone so far, I'll just have to deal with it, I suppose.

Thoughts on the Choir Trip

So for those that don't know, I just finished getting back from a choir trip. I was thinking about this some, and realizing that there was a lot of socializing and fun that went on. Now to preface what I'm about to write, don't get me wrong, I did have a lot of fun. However, and that's not a small however, I clearly did not have as much fun as a lot of people on the trip did. Which is unfortunate. For one thing, I did my drinking in moderation, largely because I had to keep an eye on people. Now, I'm certainly not an alcoholic by any means, but I do enjoy being social with people and as uptight as I can tend to be, I don't mind loosening up a little. Probably for the best that I didn't loosen up too much, as there were at least a few women along on the trip that seem to have a vested interest in me. Unfortunately I don't necessarily return said interest. Especially when you add alcohol to the equation do things become more interesting, and I had to definitely do some damage control before things got out of hand. Partially as a result of this and some other things I didn't really get to focus very much on myself. So I spent time taking care of other people, as I always do. Inevitably this seems to be my lot in life. I would say custodian to other people's lives, but that seems to demean those people. I really just want to find someone that will take care of me, and help make sure that I make time for myself. I suppose I just need to find someone as compulsive about taking care of people as I am. That's kind of a problem, though, as inevitably any woman that similar to myself would be full of neuroses. Additionally, I'd need to find someone that would also be a match for some of my admittedly geeky past times. I am a music addict, enjoy playing video games, and follow more sports than I ought to. Until then, I'll just have to hang in there, eh?